I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
