Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
