I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
