he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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