his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
