Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
