I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I could make wine with my vomit
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
