no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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