Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
