I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
