I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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