I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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