Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
