Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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