Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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