yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
