How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
