She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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