yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
