I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
