So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
