I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Congratulations! We have a period
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
