I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Randomize
