sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
