glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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