She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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