We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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