Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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