Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
whose parrot is this?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
