Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
