Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ugly people sure do ruin things
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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