"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
