bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
