Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He shit in the fireplace
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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