I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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