I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think people are normalizing furries
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
