Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
