Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize