No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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