i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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