I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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