after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
