my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
