I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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