Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
