Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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