Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
