very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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