That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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