If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
