I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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