At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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