i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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