I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
