I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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