I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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