I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
