Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it wasn't lemon gatorade
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
