Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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