Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you win again, gameday.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Randomize
