I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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